Why 500 calories you ask? Is this some kind of pr0-ana sick thinspo nonsense? No. I'm a middle aged, mature adult with years of experience in controlling my weight and keeping fit. I'm not into self harm. I'm perfectly capable of making sound decisions regarding my food intake.
I've descended into "food anarchy" the past 9 years and didn't stop until I was 80 pounds past a healthy weight.
I've never weighed this much before.
I've tried and failed to get back in shape these past 9 years, failed where before I would have succeeded. Well, wait. That's not entirely accurate. Last year, in January 2012, I became ill. Not life-threateningly serious, but serious enough. I was bed-ridden for three weeks and after that, it took about 6 more weeks to really feel well again. So I lost some weight and during the 6 week convalescing period, I made some changes. Tracked my food. Made better choices. Then, started walking each and every day. I lost a little more than 20 pounds. I felt and looked much better. Clothes I'd "outgrown" started to fit again. (Doesn't it suck to have three different sizes of clothing still hanging around your closet and drawers?) I actually got rid of the size 20s and 18Ws and was wearing a straight 18 from the misses rack and even a couple of 17/18 from the juniors rack.
I succeeded then because I got a jump start during my illness. Too sick to want to eat. Many days of involuntary fasting and near-fasting. Then, established good practices once I got into recovery. Sadly, over the holidays, swept up in my business's busy season, had no time to practice good habits (or so I told myself). It got hard to make good choices when I was having to eat while driving and devote every spare minute to making the business work. So, I backslid. Couldn't get back on track. Even though I wasn't in full-on food anarchy mode, weight loss ground to a halt and now, in mid-2013, I see a pound here and a pound there creeping back up.
So, over the weekend, I had an epiphany. I felt ready to start over. And I know, from years of experience, the only way to start is to jump start. That's even more necessary, now. At this stage of life, taking it off is a struggle. That 1400 calories that the weight loss centers tell you you can eat - well, at my age, with my metabolism, that just doesn't fly. It's too much. I won't get results at that level. And I'm not going to spin class or become a long distance runner any time soon, so I won't be creating a deficit with activity. I'm going to do what I know works. Fasting and near-fasting, with random days of moderate "indulgence" just to shake up the metabolism a little.
500 calories though? Isn't that dangerous? I plan to address that in detail in another post, but suffice to say, we Americans think we need much more food than we actually do. I'm no longer a "growing girl", well, I'm growing, sideways, and that's not what I want. Like I said,
The advantages of a 500 calorie near-fast:
I will give my poor, overburdened digestive system a rest. At my lowest point, at my heaviest weight and darkest hour of binge eating, my digestion was a MESS. I was on the cusp of developing gall bladder issues. I was constantly belching, so badly that I would avoid going out til my stomach settled. I constantly had abdominal pain. I would sleep with a heating pad to try to sooth the discomfort and turmoil happening in my abdomen. Acid reflux. Don't ask. You can't get comfortable in bed, every way I turned, it just made that nasty acid want to travel. This, after a lifetime of thin-ness, health and being able to eat the hottest, spiciest food with absolutely no after-effects. When I changed my eating habits in 2012, wow, the worst of those symptoms completely disappeared. But, lately, slipping back into food anarchy, I feel the acid reflux and burpiness returning. Time to nip that in the bud and the best way is by giving my gastro system a rest and my body a chance to cleanse itself.
I will see immediate results which will keep me motivated. There's nothing worse than investing time and money in a diet program and getting slow or NO results. I remember trying Weight Watchers Points program in my first year of "food anarchy". I think I actually GAINED on that plan. There I was, taking time out of my day, spending money, traveling back and forth and accomplishing practically NOTHING. This new "You can eat whatever you want as long as you count it" stuff is ... well. Some of us have trigger foods that cause us to binge. Some of us blow up from the salt and white flour in all those "convenience foods" you guys push. Well, okay, maybe not push, but "make conveniently available". With a near fast, I know I won't gain, in fact, I know I will drop from 5 to 7 pounds the first week. And I'll SEE a difference. I will KILL the belly bloat in 7 days, which will make my jeans a whole lot easier to button. With belly being my worst problem area, that's important.
I will feel the change, which will also keep me motivated. That hungry feeling, that empty feeling, reminds me of what I am trying to accomplish. Reminds me that I am succeeding, one little step at a time. Oh, and even though I have only eaten 700 calories in the past 36 hours, I haven't gotten my first hunger pang yet. That's because yesterday was only the first day after months of "food anarchy", months of eating much more than I need. My stomach isn't really even empty yet! So please, all you pearl clutchers out there who are dying to tell me how dangerous 500 calorie diets are, save it. Save it for someone who isn't the size of two skinny people right now. Save it for someone who doesn't live in a world of over-indulgence, in a country in the midst of an obesity "epidemic", a country that spends billions of dollars each year treating obesity-related illness.
I won't have to think about food so much. Right now, my fridge is stocked with fresh vegetables and some fruit and some hard cooked eggs. My cabinet has nuts and dried fruit. This is all I need. I can grab a handful of nuts, have an egg for lunch, have celery and tomato and some tuna for dinner. 500 calories can be quite substantial, quite satisfying. I can munch on veggies throughout the day if I want/need to. I can have green tea, black tea, chai tea (not the mix), mint tea, detox tea. All kinds of tea. Black coffee. Not much meal planning needed. Just a few basic go-to foods.
I will be "forced" to eat fresh veggies and fruit. When you have less calories to budget, spending 75% of them on a bag of potato chips is not an option. I prefer to spread my eating out across the day and make any calorie-dense foods I eat the most nutritious and most satisfying.
I plan to do the 500 calorie diet for one week, then re-assess. If I need more food, if I am too tired, I will add 200 to 300 more calories. For now, it's day two and it's going smashingly. I think I just felt my first hunger pain. :)
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